Tuesday, February 02, 2010

red24 Spartans vs Scorpions TONIGHT!

The mighty Spartans face the lowly Scorpions at the Stadium of Light tonight! The team in no particular order of greatness and amazing ability.
 
1. Andre
2. Ryan
3. Ryan's mate
4. Ryan's mate II
5. Yosh
6. Roberto
 
The Spartans will be looking to add to their recent run of fine form against a Scorpions team that has struggled to come to terms with the high pace and fluidity of the passing game in the 8th division. The game starts at 19:50 and all support is, as usual, not expected, but welcome. There have also been rumours that Kk Mascot Ltd will be making an appearence and will be handing out free KFC to the first 10,000 fans...just what I heard...

red24 Spartans vs Scorpions TONIGHT!

The mighty Spartans face the lowly Scorpions at the Stadium of Light tonight! The team in no particular order of greatness and amazing ability.

1. Andre

2. Ryan

3. Ryan's mate

4. Ryan's mate II

5. Yosh

6. Roberto

The Spartans will be looking to add to their recent run of fine form against a Scorpions team that has struggled to come to terms with the high pace and fluidity of the passing game in the 8th division. The game starts at 19:50 and all support is, as usual, not expected, but welcome. There have also been rumours that Kk Mascot Ltd will be making an appearence and will be handing out free KFC to the first 10,000 fans...just what I heard...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Spartans dish out nightmare to Dream Team

The Spartans outfit came from behind to secure a major 7-6 victory against Dream Team on Tuesday night. The victory was clinched by fine finishes from debutants Amakhosi and Shifty who slotted two amazing back heel reverse kick long range (relatively speaking) efforts. Sato also showed his class on the night with a number of deft one two threes; his pre-match warm up routine was also viewed as being the best any had seen at the arena since the legendary Olga "Stretch" McGrouin's 1976 leg bend effort. At the back, the Wall and WMD kept the Dream Team tally down to six proving why pictures of them appear in the Oxford dictionary next to the word 'defence'. Wall in particular had a remarkable game by not getting injured once. He would later put this down to, and we quote, "the spirit of Bonnie Tyler lives deep within me, and I have answered the call that siren has made for a hero, which is me, Rob." The Spartans next game is on Tuesday against the relegation stricken Scorpions side. The kickoff is at 19:50.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Breaking News Extra

Breaking news from the Spartan frontlines.

Key ace play maker, molder of young minds and part time ear model, Yosh, has been recalled to the red24 side to face the mediocre mid-league Dream Team outfit at the Stadium on Main tomorrow night. The return of the prodigal son has been hailed by red24 fans across the globe and at Sarah’s pod as a giant leap forward for a team that is finally putting a challenge in for the League 8 trophy and title of Greatest Team in the Universe, except for Wolves. In other team news Jon Amakhosi Come Get Some Vincent has announced his intention of adding to his recent scoring sensations, hinting that he may even pot one in from outside the nets. Cap’n Rob, a long time favourite of small soccer-wild guinea fowl, was also recently quoted by an inebriated Reuters correspondent as saying “the power of the chicken lives in me, now get me a wing and a 2L coke”. The sentiment was not lost on red24 Spartan fans who believe the Wall may well in fact be the reincarnated demi-god, Mycaeus of Kayefsee. Scientific tests are currently underway to test the allegations. One other star that has just returned from his exile in Lai-Taryval, a Thai resort located in the insurgent hit south, is AM Shifty who is apparently keen to slot in a few for the adoring public. The game, which starts at 21:15, is expected to draw hundreds of thousands ... a sweet after dinner desert, courtesy of Beacon. Entrance as usual is free and all supporters are urged to arrive at the stadium, please.

We at the 24s blog value reader feedback, please complete this survey. Reply with A or B or C next to the Q to rushmore100@gmail.com.

1. Is this entry A. Possibly the biggest pile of drivvle ever written B. All of the above.
2. Did you complete the 1st question and now are wondering why you reading the second? A. Yes
3. Was the blog entry particularly harsh on Ryan? A. No B. Yes C. Who is Ryan?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Spartans crush Pumas, worries over selection

The red24 Spartan mercenary side took on a determined Puma's outfit in a League 8 encounter at the Stadium of Light last night coming at 3-2 winners after cracking (ie lucky) first (and only) half goals by Andre and Terrence (mercenary player). Rob again showed excellent touches saving a number of crumbs, that fell from his pie he was munching on during the game, from falling onto the putrid Stadium pitch, while Amakhosi Jon showed good skill in midfield and during the pre-game warm up. However, it was developments before the game that caught the attention of the adoring crowd, with Ryan "Am Shifty" pulling out minutes before the game due to a pre-scheduled family affair. red24 Spartans management committee are looking into disciplinary measures, including forcing the guilty dilettante to attend time management courses. Other notable first team absences were Gerrit, who continues the honorable pursuit of studying and Yosh "enlightened child of Absenteeism" Sato who was unable to attend due to his favourite soapy being on at 18:30. Spartans next game is Tuesday 26 January at 20:30 against Dream Team. red24 fans are hoping full a full roster of red24 players as are red24s primary sponsor, Spolander Management Consultants, who are considering whether to offer the team company cars, laptops and blackberrys as well as their choice of red24 store room merchandise.

Friday, January 15, 2010

"Mean Machine" Spartans crush I.Y.M.

The red24 Spartans showed incredible aggression (befitting a Spartan child) in a League 8 fixture against Inter Yer Maw at the Stadium of Light last night. The lively affair started well for the red24 outfit who outpaced, outfought and outeverythinged the opposition for the full 30 minutes. Led by Andre "Sin bin" C, who cracked a nod onto ESPN's 100 Dirtiest Indoor Soccer Players list, the Spartans raced to a 4-0 half time lead with Jon "Amakhosi" and Ryan "AM Shifty" Cummings showing fantastic dedication and growing ability in front of goal and in defence. On loan from Oxbridge's Pensioners Third Football team, Nick, slotted well into the team and played a near flawless game - I was not paid to say that. The second half saw the Spartans race even further ahead with Yosh "enlightened son of Zuma" Sato dominating the midfield exchanges and Capn Rob blocking all IYM attempts at goal. The two form men helped extend the Spartan lead and shut out IYM with a final score of 9-1, the Spartans only conceding when Rob mistook a small child for a KFC Family meal. I'm not sure what that means, but I don't get paid for this drivvle so there. A big thanks goes out to the Spartan horde who supported our champions last night. Wiggler and Mercia "the indomnitable" sang and cheered all through the game and for some time after - Spartan spirit at its best. The win moves the Spartans up to second on the log behind Puma United who continue to impress no one except their mums.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Spartan glory, take 2

With pre-season training in full swing the24s blog lead writer and part-time midget striptease instructor, Toobob Curry Face, spoke to Capn Rob in this the24s One on One Exclusive earlier today.

Toobob Curry Face: Hi Capn Rob, great to meet up with you here in the parking lot outside of Blue Route, training camp of the red24 Spartans.

Capn Rob: Am I still being paid for this?

TCF: Yea, don't worry usual fee, 12 KFC McNuggets. Back to the team the first half of the season was average by no means, in fact it was downright amazingly poor. What do you put that down too.

CR: Opinion. We played with gutso and blitso and gave more than 30% in each game. In fact our brand of footie has stirred Bonnie Tyler to release a new album "I need a hero hotdog".

TCF: But some would say that despite the adoration of ageing 80s mega rock singer and super fine Tyler, the team have failed to attract the fans and sponsors?

CR: Stats alone prove that this is in fact the opposite of falseness and truth and by simply implying the corrollary of the theory that mind over matter depends on how much you dont mind I think we have shown we have done enough to please the fans. In fact our style aint nothing but a thing.

TCF: They don't script poetic sports prose like that anymore ladies and gentleman... So Capn tell us, the readers and followers of the red24 Spartans, what do you have in store for us for the new season, which begins this Thursday at 19:10 at the Stadium of Light, Claremont?

CR: Well TooFace Curry Breathe, we basically want to score as many runs as possible and then put the opposition under great pressure with our awesome fielding. At the end of the day runs on the board will pressure the enemy into mistakes...

TCF: Excuse me but isn't that cricket?

CR: Listen mate I'm the expert here.

TCF: Sure. Um, well, another enlightening interview. Thank you Capn for joining us on the24s One on One Exclusive. For those at home a full podcast is available for download by clicking the adverts along the side of the blog....

Just a reminder to all the adoring fans out there that the Spartans first game of the second half of the campaign begins this Thursday and will feature a suprise guest player! Your heros in no particular order of amazingness (starting at the top):

Team

Andre C
Jon Vincent
Nick Merret (Suprise player....d'oh!)
Yosh Sato
Capn Rob
Ryan C

Gerrit - fitness test
Grant - transferred to Oldham Athletic Women's sewing club
Guy - Pinky injury, doubtful starter

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Spartans fixture and Kamp Stalcafe

Breaking news: The red24 Spartans fixture against Dream Team on Tuesday has been cancelled. red24 franchise part owner and part-time party animal, Mr. Angry, would neither confirm nor deny the rumours that the recent training camp at an undisclosed cafe in the CBD, nicknamed Kamp Stalcafe by the local press, had anything to do with the recent inebriation and incapacitation of 89% of the team. With the fixture being cancelled, the Spartans will only take to the field again in 2010. Merry christmas to one and all.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Spartans team announcement for Dream Team crunch tie

The red24 Spartans Supreme Selection Committee (RSSSC) have announced the team for the forthcoming crunch match against Dream Team Utd on Tuesday 15 December at 18:30. The announcement was made earlier today at a poorly attended press conference in the red24 IT store room. The team, in no particular order of fantastickness/intelligence and down right handsomeness (from 1-5), are:

 

1. Andre "now you see me now you don't" C

2. Ryan "AM Shifty not Shity" Cummings

3. Jon "Amakhoooosi" Vincent 

4. Yosh "Enlightened child of Pele" Sato

5. Guy "whodunnit" Brown

6. Gerrit "Wild Bill" Wessels - (Possible late starter pending fitness test)

 

The RSSSC have announced that Mr. Angry (Rob) has been banned until the beginning of January 2010 due to an indiscretion involving an Escalade, a Scandinavian, a golf club and a bucket of KFC wings. Asked to comment on the ban, he stated, in a perfect Shakespearian prose "I doth notteth haveth the Wingsith". Once again the blog would like to apologise for the poor quotes herein. Grant "Aces" Scheepers has also pulled out of the fixture citing irreconcilable differences with Shirley "You better work all the shifts up until you leave" Blaine, currently camp commander of Grant's CS department.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Need a hero: Apply here now

That feeling you get in the middle of the night when the curtains stir and your cat, Fluffypoo IV, howls at the full moon like a demented beast from the depths of Hades own tepid stomach pit....during these times of dire strait you need, nay, you yearn for .... a Hero with a capital H. The red24 Spartans need them by the truckload at the moment and they need them now. They need them to be fresh for the fight. Who will it be? Click here to find out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY&feature=related